For the past three, almost four years I’ve lived alone. For the most part I like it just fine. I really can be the grown up who is a kid. I eat ice-cream and pizza for dinner quite a bit. I buy toys that I had always wanted to.
There are of course adult responsibility’s I have to take care of like a job and bills. Over all though I get to do what I want and all is well.
Lately though a few things have started to get to me. I am not very motivated when left alone. I find even the simplest task tends to go undone. I find it very easy to fall into a trap of letting my personal upkeep and care fall to the wayside. My house becomes a clutter place of filth and it shames me.
There is also a problem of how secluded I’ve become. Getting around by bus and walking can be a bit of a pain so most of my contact with people is at work and that doesn’t really count as the best social interaction. I do talk to people though IM quite a bit but that lacks the personal touch of being with others in person.
Darker thoughts have also started to surface. “would anyone notice if I was gone?” I know they would eventually. Work being the first place that would notice if I just stopped showing up, but how long before someone would check my house, If I died how long before my body would be found?
I really don’t have an end for this. Its just stuff on my mind as the sun sets.