I am suddenly very depressed I will probably never make friends with a fox in my life.
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Why arn’t brain garage sales a thing?
You could get rid of some old junk that might mean something to someone else.
I love when people start talking about all the healthy food they eat and I’m over here like “i just ate a bowl of chips and Velveeta for dinner”
I feel like Peter Parker at the beginning of fight club. Unrealated and not part of this movie.
Got the chance to be one of The Doctor’s companions last night in a dream. It was good up until the part where I was horribly torn apart by some freeky weeping angel hybrid. The Doctor, he was sorry.
Overheard conversation bit from a co-worker today.
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It occurred to me today that bondage is the safest sex possible.
It’s basically sex with seat-belts.
Some day I hope to use this phrase.
It would say “I’m thinking Macaroni”
I’ll never trust a whore, But I’d marry a slut.
If I was a woman for a day, I’d want to try a threesome or more.
I’d be gay if guys weren’t such dicks all the time.
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